Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Independence Day

This is a stitching blog - but it is my only blog and today I want to use it to tap out some thoughts.  You see today is Independence Day.  One year ago today, on January 14, 2013, me and my two little girls got dropped off at the airport and boarded a plane to leave Calgary and return home to New Brunswick and start over again.  This day is feeling a tad odd. I'm feeling strong and powerful and accomplished and yet a bit melancholy.

Myth: One year ago today I thought I had lost everything.

Fact: One year ago today I reclaimed myself.

One year ago today was an odd day - not only was I travelling solo with a eight and a six year old but it was the day I got to meet my best friend in person for the first time.  Let me explain... Facebook has allowed me to make some amazing friends. Friends that my connection and trust runs deeper than with some people I have met in real life - these friends are scattered over the corners of the world - Australia, Sweden, North Carolina...and Toronto to name a few. Lucky for me, Toronto was where I had a four hour layover.

Sharon took a day off work and allowed her grandson to take a day off school to come and meet us at the airport that day.  I needed her so badly. I might have looked like I had it together that day but I was falling apart with uncertainty.  Seeing her just really was a relief - she was so familiar and comforting and it wasn't at all like a first meeting.  She did the kindest thing by just being there, but she also brought gifts. She gave me my Pandora bracelet.  She said it represented new beginnings and I really do associate my bracelet with a fresh start and it represents everything I love - my family, my friends, myself... I cherish it but not nearly as much as I do the friendship that brought me through all of this.

Me and Sharon 01-14-13
What do besties do at the airport? Sniff fabric in public - that is right...we do! (Had to involve stitching somehow or I wouldn't be able to put it in this blog)
It was too short a visit but lucky for me every year through work I get to spend a week in Toronto and this year I was able to spend a few days with Sharon at her house before coming home. I will get to do the same this year in May. I know there are other friends that really wanted to be there that day and would have if they could. I even missed a phone call from Sweden while in the air! xoxo 

My life has come beyond full circle. Circle kinda indicates you are back to where you started. That isn't what happened to me. I experienced great growth this past year.  I have learned my true strengths and weaknesses.  I found who I am and what I like and love and want in my life.  I ask permission a lot less. I feel kinder - lighter - literally (I lost 20 lbs over this past year).  I'm a better employee - I think I'm a better mom.  I hope I'm a better friend. 

A few of my charms - green bead represents the little boys in my life, rhino is my totem, heart is with love from John, the pink represents the little girls in my life, the butterflies represent flying free and was from my mom...all my charms mean something to me. 
But, I'm not done yet. I have a way to go. Still need to make things all official and legal but none of that is the important stuff. What is important is learning to be yourself - accepting your flaws and weirdness and scars and saying "well here it is..." Let someone who sees it all love you. The result can be amazing. 

So, Happy Independence Day to me. Right now, I'm feeling less melancholy and more proud of myself. 

When I told John what today was he gave me a tight hug and just said "Welcome Home."  How perfect. xo.


  1. You are strong and vital!! So glad I get to call you friend!!!! Give yourself a hug!!!!!

  2. Well done you! Taking that step is hard and at the time it feels so difficult.

    My world fell apart several years ago and I had no idea how I was going to cope, but I came out of it a much stronger person and I learnt so many things about myself.

    Although I don't really know you, reading about you it comes across that you are such a strong woman, no matter what life throws at you, you know you can face it head on and deal with it.

    You've come so far and made a new life for yourself in such a short space of time, you should be so proud!